About QFM

Why this blog?

During the summer of 2013, we decided we were going to have a baby. Well, eventually–sometime in the next 2 years if everything goes according to plan. Plans always work perfectly, right?

We set out looking for info for queer people having kids. We found there just isn’t a lot out there. There’s some stuff for gay dads and lesbian moms. There’s some stuff for alternative or non-traditional parenting. There’s some stuff for feminist parents. There’s a handful of fabulous queer blogs (see our blogroll), but not a lot. Or, rather, not enough.

This is possibly because queer identities are relatively new, taken back by the genderqueer and political queers of the 90’s and and really becoming rooted as a common identity in the 00’s. Queer-identified parents are often going to be Gen X, Gen Y, or Millenial. Early “queers” were mainly activist, academic types–socially liberal, highly-educated. Younger folks are identifying as queer now across the socio-economic spectrum and clustering in big cities. There are a lot of us and we are increasingly diverse in race, gender and sexual orientation and we’re open to fluidity.

We appreciate the lesbian and gay trailblazers who came before us, but we also see what is missing from the queer parenting conversation. Queer parents want info and support that is inclusive of gender non-conforming folks, of trans parents, of families with one or more bisexual/pansexual parents, of people raising kids that don’t want to be “just like” heterosexual families.

Us? We are pretty boring, middle-class queer folks that are lucky to be able to plan and afford our baby decision. If there isn’t much of anything for us in terms of resources, there definitely isn’t much for many others under the big queer umbrella: intersex folks, poly families, asexual parents, etc.

We want to talk about parenting and family-making at the place where family issues meet NOT ONLY sexual orientation, but also race, class, gender, and more. Ya’ know, queer family matters. Because queer families matter.


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