We’re K & W, a real-life queer couple in our early 30’s who are preparing to add a kid to our little queer family. We made this decision after a lot of thought. We’ve been together for almost a decade, beginning when we went to undergraduate college together, where we were student leaders and activists. K was the leader of the campus feminist organization and W was the leader of the campus LGBTQIA organization. We were partners in crime on many activist escapades–anti-war, women’s rights, queer and trans equity, fair labor–you name it, we were there. During K’s senior year, we finally and inevitably became best friends. We were both in relationships with other people at the time (I know!) and after some confusion and much drama, we officially got together on Feb 7, 2005. We have had many, many furkids over our years together and currently share our home with 1 fluffy scaredy-cat, 2 spoiled bunnies, and 2 rude guinea pigs.
W identifies as a transgender queer boi. He is a really tall white dude, currently able, has a degree in public justice, works at a warehouse, snappy dresser, and loves his cat more than anyone in the world (K included). He generally prefers male pronouns, but doesn’t mind female pronouns, and would describe his gender as big umbrella trans or as “a bit fluid.” He thinks too many activists and queers don’t live in the real world and need a serious privilege check. He makes excellent vegan treats, though he eats meat. Having a kid and getting married were things W always knew he wanted, but didn’t think K would ever want. He was shocked when K brought up both topics and even more shocked when she didn’t change her mind. He plans and wants to be the primary parent once the kid is here.
K identifies as a cisgender queer woman. She could also be included in the pansexual or bisexual camp, though she primarily identifies as queer. She is a glasses-wearing vegan, currently able, a former creative writing major, a Korean-American adoptee, and deeply into feminist intersectionality. She works full-time for a well-known civil rights organization and does some work as a professional speaker and sexuality educator on the side. Sexual/reproductive justice and carbohydrates are her thing. Having a kid and getting married have never been her thing, for personal and professional reasons. Life happened, circumstances changed, W became a major piece of the life pie, thoughtful decisions were made. So here she is with queer marriage checked off and plans to make a babe in the works.
Stuff We Love
Stuff K Loves (that W doesn’t love quite as much): okra, huge jewelry, Margaret Cho, big crowds, leggings as pants, wearing belts as useless fashion accessories, Chinese take-out, bright lipstick, 90’s alternative rock, literary theory, roller coasters, cult movies, leopard print, dystopic fiction
Stuff W Loves (that K doesn’t love quite as much): Top 100 radio, meat lover’s pizza, watching sports, fast food, wearing belts to hold pants up, Muenster cheese, Meryl Streep, power tools, cool watches, NY Giants, little kids, the X-Files, humorous underwear
Stuff We Both Love: garlic, unnecessary kitchen appliances, singing showtunes loudly on car trips, late night dessert binges, bargain hunting, activism, spoiling the furkids, feeding ducks, finding the perfect gift for someone, riding the tilt-a-whirl, dining out, the Oxford comma, Indian food, political TV, whole wheat bread, children’s movies, critiquing pop culture, buffalo tofu